Back in the good old days – before I had kids, I had a “real” job. And before you get your panties all into a bunch, when I say “real” job, I simply mean outside of the home and in no way, shape or form am I discounting the demands of being a SAHM. But……BC (before children) I had a career and I was good at what I did. In case you’re the least bit curious, I worked in stocks. As in the stock market not stocking shelves.
But once I had my first baby, I took a job at Jordan’s Furniture, which is a pretty big furniture store chain here in New England. I took the job because it wasn’t a set Monday through Friday 9-5 schedule. At Jordan’s, my hours varied and many of my hours were either nights or weekends, which was exactly what I was looking for. Actually, I was on a four week rotating schedule, so I always knew when I was working – I just didn’t have the same hours each week. I didn’t want to put the baby into day care (nor could I afford it), so the crazy hours worked for me and my ex at the time.
I actually left Jordan’s right before I had my second child because the crazy hours got to be too much for me and I knew with a toddler and a newborn, it just wasn’t going to be feasable to keep working there. I actually loved that job, but I wasn’t able to change the schedule I was on, so it was either suck it up or leave. I left.
For those of you who didn’t know, I still work today, but I work from home, which is quite a bit different than working outside the home. There is one thing that I did on occasion when I worked outside the home that I really do miss.
Taking sick days for no reason and vegging on the couch watching Maury Povich. Yup, I admit it, I loved curling up on the couch with a blanket, a cup of coffee, some snacks and a healthy dose of paternity test results. For me, it was a real treat if it happened to be the guests 6th appearance on the show and they were still trying to find the father of their child. Then the guy, who inevidably denies it, always spewed out the dumbest excuses:
“I’ve never even slept with that slut”
“I only make boys, and she has a girl!”
I love melodrama. LOVE IT. But what amazes me more than anything, is there is this endless supply of women who manage to sleep with that many men in such a short period of time and need help determining which one is the real baby daddy. It blows my mind.
I haven’t watched the show since having my first child. Like I said, I work at home now and obviously I can’t watch that sort of thing in front of the kids, but when my little man goes off to Kindergarten next year, you better believe I’ll have a date with Maury once again. You know, for old times sake.
Oh, and for the record, I never, ever called in when I was actually sick. I suffered through whatever sickness I did have at work and saved my sick time for trailer park hookers, lie detector test results and scorned baby mamas.
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This post, One Thing I Really Miss, originally appeared on Masshole Mommy on December 8, 2011. Tweet This
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